Monday, November 19, 2012

Monday rolls around again, has it only been a week?

So it's been a week since our prognosis changed from pneumonia to FIP.

As I sit and write, Zero is lazing on my lap. He is breathing heavy, but seems relaxed enough. I think the little guy is tired.

I'm torn by not knowing what to do and I wish he could tell me. I've tried asking him, sometimes he looks up at me and I can see that he is still there. Other times he looks at me as if the spirit inside him has left.

I don't want him to suffer or end up passing alone while we are not home, but I don't want to do anything preemptively.

His sister and him are curled up on my lap,

and a few minutes ago Hana crawled up to get a better position and sat right down on her brother. As if he wasn't there. Poor Zero. I quickly scootched her off and made sure he was not disrupted.

Last night, while talking with my husband in bed about what to do, after weeping while reading about other people's experiences with this disease, we had sort of come to a conclusion that we should let him go Monday night.

Right after saying this, Zero, who hasn't purred in almost a week or shown much contentment, began licking me all over. My hands, my arm, even my shirt. I'm not sure what he was trying to tell me, maybe just that he loved me and thanked me.

What do you think?

He keeps licking me as I write this... silly baby boy.


  1. You'll know if the time comes to ease his passing a little more. He knows the rhythm of your days, when you go out and come home. He has his safe warm places to be when you're not there. He is telling you he loves you. Another of our rescued cats, my special cat, Byron spent most of his last night leaning on my arm as I slept with him on my chest. He purred too, and rubbed his face on my hand to scent mark me. He knew time was running out and the next day as he drifted away from me (kidney failure and hyperthyroidism at 17 and a half) I made that last trip to the vet, still kind of hoping for a miracle, but the vet eased him on his way and his spirit left me as he curled up on my lap.

    There is no easy way, but you'll know.##Thinking of you all.

    Julie in Gloucestershire UK, with the cats, birds and all.

  2. Thanks Julie, I think he was telling me yesterday that he's not quite ready and liked it where we were. I'm also dealing with the question of "draining" the fluid one more time or not. It will make him more comfortable but he has lost so much body mass I don't know how long he will have. It may help him for a day or two but that could be it.

    I'll take him to the vet today (she's just on the corner of the street) and see what she thinks. They are really adverse to using euthanasia here in S.Korea unless you demand it so I know she wouldn't pressure that on us.

    Thanks for thinking of us!

  3. Hi Katey, your latest post cheered me up - it's good that Zero is enjoying life and you can see it. Give whatever treatment you think best, remember he's living for the day, if it makes it better with little or no extra pain then go for it. But I'm hardly the best source of advice as I regularly spend up to £100.00 on veterinary care for rescued ex-battery hens. I reckon they deserve a go at getting well even if it's just to enjoy a few more weeks of good life.

    Zero's having a quality of life that he could never have dreamed of before you came along. Time is relative, some people live for decades and never really see the wonder of the gift of life, other beings live a short time, but in that time experience so much their lives are richer and better, it's never quantity it's quality that counts.
    Julie (with 4 more rescued hens due to arrive on Sunday)

  4. Wow, good luck with your hens! How is the connection made between you and the hens?

    Zero continues to surprise me with his little shows of his personality. (Rolling around on the tile, scratching at the sofa). He's a strong little man.

    Time is relative and I've learned that so much more through this experience.

    Best wishes for the hens!

    1. Hi Katey, and belated Thanksgiving greetings.

      I hear about the hens through the British Hen Welfare Trust (BHWT). They keep up links with some intensive poultry farmers and when they send their birds for slaughter at 18 months old the BHWT buys some - usually only between 150-350 out of 30-40K who go to be slaughtered. The lucky few birds are then re-homed to live out their days with people like us. We used to have a back garden until it was landscaped by hens... I was 'phoned this afternoon by one of the rescue co-ordinators to say that due to the vile weather we're having in the UK - lots of wind and rain = flooding, the rescue was partly off. Many people weren't able to take the birds now and the original re-homing site is flooded. So anyway, I've now agreed to take 6 hens and collect them at lunchtime tomorrow from a motorway service station about 30 miles from here. The run the birds are due to live in is in a bad way because of all the rain even though it's sheltered so they may have to live indoors for a few days. But the indoor pen is full of wild birds waiting for Spring. My long-suffering husband has agreed that if all else fails and the rain doesn't stop the new birds can live in the utility area by our downstairs loo and back door. He just asks that I don't put them in our bed like the lady he saw on a wildlife documentary last night who reared goslings in her bed.
      Our oldest rescued girls have been out of their cages since 6th Jan 2010, that makes them nearly 4 and a half. Our shortest lived girl was Flamingo, she came out on 1st July this year and only lived 6 weeks in the sunlight but she did get to explore our garden and especially loved to scratch about under the mulberry bush where her ashes now lie. Yes indeed, time is relative. Who knows how long Zero has, but he's making the most of every moment of his life. No sofa should be without a cat's signature!

      Love to you all
      Julie and the animals